I have been a stranger in this place all my life.
An alien. Just a visitor.
I was born among a people who I didn’t understand. A society that felt alien. A culture that felt cruel and perverted.
All my life, I have struggled between two competing compulsions. Part of me felt as though I had to fit in here. I felt that I had to conform. I had to become acceptable to the people around me — the ones who were so quick to judge me and ridicule me when I didn’t imitate them.
The other part of me has always been searching for a home that I knew was somewhere else. That part of me knew that I was an alien among these people. That part knew that I was looking for something. A person? A place? A force? I didn’t know.
The more I understood that I was a stranger in this land, the more I vaguely conceived that I was looking for another place. Not a physical place that’s on a map. I was looking for the place where I would find this “something” that I was compelled to find.

I hate the intense pain, but I don’t know how to live without longing
Love & Hope — Episode 7:
Just underneath a civilized veneer, savage conqueror lives in my DNA
Goodbye, Merlin (2003-2022)
Loving a depressed person means holding tightly on trips through hell
What if Jesus was serious about commands he gave his followers?
Why exactly is it such a big deal to be invited to the White House?
Film hurts when I hear, ‘I’ve seen what we can be like together’