By the standards of my younger self, I’ll always be a failure. And that’s fine with me.
Our culture is obsessed with riches and status. We unconsciously judge people according to their level of success. We’re envious of those who get ahead and those who have more than we do. We judge others harshly — sometimes loudly and sometimes silently — for not living up to their “potential.”
I grew up this way. Maybe you did, too. I wanted success and power and money. I saw those things as the path to status and freedom. And I expected myself to be very successful.
But something happened along the way. I learned there was a tradeoff between worldly success and personal satisfaction with life. I learned that I couldn’t “have it all.” I struggled for years to find a compromise between the two — to see a way to follow incompatible values. And I failed.
When I crashed, I crashed hard, like a train jumping off its tracks. I went off the rails about 15 years ago — metaphorically speaking — and refused to move until I could figure out what had gone so terribly wrong. Why I felt like a failure.
I finally discovered that my culture had lied to me.

Inner alarm is louder every day; big changes must come to my life
Why do we paint ourselves into joyless corners with no way out?
Hugs from a sweet little girl can erase stress after long work day
Every addiction is heart’s effort to fill inner hole that requires love
Documents force me to rethink some old beliefs about my father
Everything sounded fair at the time, so why’d I end up paying for it all?
Collectivists think they’re doing us favors as they force herd to follow
Is Herman Cain guilty of sexual misconduct? I wouldn’t be surprised
If the kids are confused in school, maybe it’s the system and teachers