This story is about me. Only me. It’s about my ego and insecurities and fears and needs.
I typically write what I think might be useful for others to know and understand, but this is different. It’s more like a diary entry. A confessional. A cry of frustration.
It’s the sort of thing I would address to a wife or partner or trusted companion — if I had a woman in that role. It’s my half of a conversation which I would need to have with someone who loved me and believed in me and was permanently a part of my life.
So this probably isn’t for you.
I’m struggling right now. In many ways, things are the best in my life that they’ve been for at least 20 years. I have stability and purpose again. I know where I want to go. I’m more clear about my values and my priorities than I’ve ever been in my life.
But I’m struggling with the gap between how things ought to be and the reality I see in front of me. And that gap terrifies me — because nobody lives forever.

Life’s path can change direction when you’re ready for real love
So you’ve rescued dogs and cats, but how about a baby elephant?
FRIDAY FUNNIES
Advocating peace requires more than hating those who start wars
Tough problem: What does a free society do about unfit parents?
What does it take to hold thug with a badge accountable for murder?
Art, culture are keys to winning the future for freedom of choice
It’s hard to ‘get over it’ if pain of abuse turns to rage against self