I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Public discourse is distorted by constant outrage over anecdotes
Overthrow of Gaddafi no justification for attacks on other countries
Good artists show us what we can’t yet see with our own eyes
FRIDAY FUNNIES
Santa Claus at a loss when Rosie comes to tell him her troubles
Walls built to protect heart keep others from giving what we need
Was I ‘fat’? ‘Lazy’? My father’s ugly words made me feel shame
Patterns that made old mistakes keep us making same old errors
Listen as Aya Katz interviews me live about my close furry friends