By the standards of my younger self, I’ll always be a failure. And that’s fine with me.
Our culture is obsessed with riches and status. We unconsciously judge people according to their level of success. We’re envious of those who get ahead and those who have more than we do. We judge others harshly — sometimes loudly and sometimes silently — for not living up to their “potential.”
I grew up this way. Maybe you did, too. I wanted success and power and money. I saw those things as the path to status and freedom. And I expected myself to be very successful.
But something happened along the way. I learned there was a tradeoff between worldly success and personal satisfaction with life. I learned that I couldn’t “have it all.” I struggled for years to find a compromise between the two — to see a way to follow incompatible values. And I failed.
When I crashed, I crashed hard, like a train jumping off its tracks. I went off the rails about 15 years ago — metaphorically speaking — and refused to move until I could figure out what had gone so terribly wrong. Why I felt like a failure.
I finally discovered that my culture had lied to me.

Is it persistence or stubbornness to keep chasing uncertain outcomes?
Two sets of rules: One for the public and a very different set for police
What kind of savages are we today? ‘Pick ’em out and knock ’em out’
Hermit life looks good as world tries to make me a misanthrope
Fear of potential loss is a terrible reason to stay in the wrong place
Do five big beer companies force Native Americans to abuse alcohol?
Despite death, finally finding love made life worth it for new widow
Quit using the word ‘masculinity’