I’ve been dealing with someone lately whose dishonesty is costing me a couple thousand dollars. Maybe a bit more.
I really want to be angry at him. I want to be bitter. I want to stone him — figuratively speaking — for what he’s done to me.
But I can’t throw this stone at him, because I’ve been a liar, too.
It’s hard for me to angrily attack someone else’s dishonesty — because my past hypocrisy shouts back and points its finger at me.
The longer I live, the more I understand that honesty is a fundamental value that goes to the core of what a person is. That sounds like something from a Boy Scout pledge or maybe a Sunday school lesson, but it’s genuinely foundational to a person’s character.
I haven’t always known this for myself, even though I would have given lip service to the principle all along.
I’ve told you before that I learned to be a very good liar as I grew up. I learned the nuances of lying — and the justifications for it — from the master liar who raised me. I was really good at it. And I didn’t see the contradiction in my life, much less the fracture it caused in my values and in my heart.
So what does all that mean when someone lies to me today?

People who invoke ‘fairness’ generally just mean, ‘Do things my way — or else’
‘Resisting arrest’? When police have wrongly invaded your home?
We learn how to make a living, but not how to make a good life
Rational rules don’t apply when the state gives itself a monopoly
Intelligent, well-meaning people often pull in opposite directions
Looking at the stars makes me feel connected, not insignificant
Random stats after five months
Our greatest apparent strengths frequently lead to our downfall
Our self-deception is attempt to justify whatever we do to others