I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Will a mechanical body allow you to live forever in a few decades?
Insanity is part of being human – and we’re all potentially unstable
Man who’s leaving infertile wife thinks world revolves around him
How terrified would your child self have been of your current adult life?
I’m not certain artists ever get to be themselves when they perform
Calif. Gov. Jerry Brown: ‘Not every human problem deserves a law’
Why is it so hard to make good art? It’s something I’ll never understand
This burning question divides us: Why can’t you people be like me?
Do you know your heart’s desire? Or are you just chasing a mirage?