I’ve been dealing with someone lately whose dishonesty is costing me a couple thousand dollars. Maybe a bit more.
I really want to be angry at him. I want to be bitter. I want to stone him — figuratively speaking — for what he’s done to me.
But I can’t throw this stone at him, because I’ve been a liar, too.
It’s hard for me to angrily attack someone else’s dishonesty — because my past hypocrisy shouts back and points its finger at me.
The longer I live, the more I understand that honesty is a fundamental value that goes to the core of what a person is. That sounds like something from a Boy Scout pledge or maybe a Sunday school lesson, but it’s genuinely foundational to a person’s character.
I haven’t always known this for myself, even though I would have given lip service to the principle all along.
I’ve told you before that I learned to be a very good liar as I grew up. I learned the nuances of lying — and the justifications for it — from the master liar who raised me. I was really good at it. And I didn’t see the contradiction in my life, much less the fracture it caused in my values and in my heart.
So what does all that mean when someone lies to me today?

Future reality starts in what we believe inside about who we are
Anatomy of a lie: Why destroy credibility by exaggerating facts?
When intense feelings turn numb, something inside has died for me
People with healthy self-esteem don’t fear what others might see
We build our own prison walls, and breaking free starts in heart
I often need this warning label: ‘Does not play well with others’
I’m horrified that it’s become so difficult for me to finish a book