Is hope a thing to be desired? Or does it just set us up for disappointment?

By David McElroy · January 21, 2012

From an early age, most of us are taught that hope is a good thing. When things go wrong, we’re taught to hope for better things. We’re taught not to be discouraged, not to dwell on the negative — to hope that things will be better than anticipated. Is that good advice? Or are we setting ourselves up to be hurt by cruel reality?

I’m pondering that today because a doctor handed me some hope Friday, and I had trouble deciding whether it’s a good thing or not.

As I told you Monday, I’m scheduled for surgery on Jan. 30 to remove a growth in my breast. Just nine days ago, a doctor told me that I had cancer and would have to have all the tissue of my left breast removed. On Friday, he said that new biopsies have raised some hope that the “atypical” cells in the tumor aren’t really cancer after all.

“The pathology people are saying that they just see atypical cells,” the doctor said. “They’re not seeing gross, obvious cancer. It may all be good news.”

My heart leapt upon hearing his words. What might it mean? How would it change things? And, mostly, what was the likelihood that it wasn’t really cancer?

Unfortunately, the doctor doesn’t have good answers for me yet. The initial “fine needle aspiration” biopsy had given cells that made him conclude it was cancer. Much more extensive samples taken eight days ago had failed to confirm the diagnosis. It could be that the four or five samples he dug out of me with a “core biopsy gun” didn’t happen to hit the parts of the tumor with obvious cancer cells. Maybe. We don’t know yet.

What’s going to happen is that they’ll still cut me open, but they’ll first remove the mass. While I’m still knocked out, they’ll test the piece they remove. If there are obvious cancer cells, they’ll continue with the major surgery of removing all the breast tissue from half of my chest. If there’s not any obvious sign of it, they’ll sew me up and send me home. I won’t know until I wake up whether it was a major surgery and cancer or a minor surgery and a fairly benign mass.

So here’s the question. I had already come to terms with the worst-case reality. I was ready for what they tell me is major surgery and a definite possibility of cancer spreading. But now I’m told there’s a chance — not a certainty, but a chance — that nothing of the kind is going on.

Was I better off when I had accepted the worst? Or am I better now that I can hope that I’ll wake up in nine days and go home from much more minor surgery?

Friedrich Nietzsche couldn’t be accused of being an optimist. He said, “Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.” Is he right? Am I going to live with false hope and then be tormented when things turn out poorly?

Maybe it’s a matter of personality, but I suspect that Nietzsche was wrong. I suspect that loss of hope is what brings torment. I also suspect that loss of hope destroys any possibility of faith — and I believe faith is tremendously important. In our materialist world, we’re supposed to believe that everything is physical and that thoughts and beliefs don’t matter. I don’t believe that. I believe that our thoughts and beliefs matter a lot.

Over and over in the Gospels, Jesus told people that their faith had made them well. He never told anyone that He had zapped them with supernatural power. He said — over and over — that the people’s faith had healed them. What if He actually meant what He said? What if our faith really is that important?

In Mark 11:22-24, Jesus made one of the most remarkable statements in the Bible, but it’s one that we gloss over, as though we — even Christians — don’t believe He really meant it:

“And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (ESV)

So I’ll ask again, what if Jesus really meant what He said? What if it’s not just some nice, flowery metaphor? What if our faith really is that important? Does that change whether hope is important?

Whether you’re a Christian or not, plenty of non-religious people have recognized the value of hope, too. They’ve seen that it requires hope to take steps that can lead to better things. If we have no hope, we’re not going to take risks that might bring a better life. For instance, writer Leo Buscaglia said, “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life Is to risk nothing.”

For me right now, hope isn’t about risking things. I have absolutely no control over what happens after I’m knocked out in nine days. But I think it’s good for my mental health. I also think it affects the rest of the way I look at life.

I think we’re better people — and we live better lives — when we hope. I believe we’re resilient and can bounce back from failures instead of lying there wishing for death. I’m glad that I have hope. I think we’re all better off with it. Whatever obstacle stands in the way of your success and happiness, I hope you can find the hope and faith to believe that things will be better.

If we hope, I believe we can find the courage to discover a way to turn the object of our hope into reality.

Share on Social Networks

I’m seeing a lot of simplistic and dishonest explanations right now for the current rioting in France. Those on the populist far right claim it’s all about Muslim immigrants to France disrupting the culture. Their message is that this sort of thing is going to happen in the U.S. unless “we defend the border.” On the far left, socialists and their fellow travelers claim the riots are all about wealthy people in France not paying enough taxes, resulting in cuts to government services. The truth is far more complicated, but it’s rooted in the decline of population growth in Europe. There simply aren’t enough young workers paying into the tax system anymore, so cuts in social services were inevitable. There is genuine cultural tension as more and more people immigrate from other countries, but government cuts to education and other services are even more important to what’s happening. The situation is complicated, so don’t let dishonest people with U.S. political agendas tell you that it happens to support whatever they were already promoting for partisan reasons.

Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

Related Posts