• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • DavidMcElroy.TV

THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Bessie, the beautiful girl who’s still scared

By David McElroy · July 24, 2011

Bessie has lived her entire life in fear.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely correct, but she’s at least lived her life just on the edge of fear. She can go from relaxed and happy to tense and terrified in a split second. She’s not just scared of people who might try to hurt her. She’s even scared of the one person in the world who’s fed her and taken care of her for two and a half years — me.

I wrote about Bessie’s sister, Molly, last week. You can read that story if you’d like, because most of it applied to Bessie, too.

Bessie was one of two kittens who appeared outside my door with their mother about two and a half years ago. They wouldn’t let me touch them or even get near them. I still have no idea where they came from. They were beautiful — as you can see in the picture that’s with last week’s story — but they clearly had a lot of fear in them.

The mother cat disappeared one day and I’ll never know what happened to her. It created a real dilemma for me. I certainly didn’t want or need two more cats — and these didn’t seem terribly adoptable — but I couldn’t just leave them outside alone.

You know from last week’s story that I wasn’t able to find homes for them, simply because they were too scared of people. (The top photo on this story is when she was still a kitten.) Most people just aren’t going to put up with a pet who runs almost every time a human approaches, because most people are much more interested in what they can get from the animal than in providing a home. I understand — and I’m not going to judge them — but that’s not the way I feel about it.

She’s still terrified, for the most part. It’s especially bad when there’s something going on that she doesn’t understand. For instance, in the picture above on the right, she was having to go to the vet because of swelling on her lip. (You can sort of see a pink swollen area in the picture.) She has a look of terror in her eyes, not just a normal fear, but an absolute terror that something terrible is going to happen.

I have no idea whether she simply inherited all of this fear from her mother or if terrible things happened around her as a kitten. She might have seen experienced her mother dying. I’ll never know. She was named Bessie in honor of my grandfather’s sister. My Great Aunt Bessie had more natural fear in her than any woman I’ve ever known. She was a wonderful woman, but she couldn’t shake being afraid of the world. She was a natural to lend her name to this new Bessie.

She’s very happy today, living with her sister, Molly, and her three nieces — Charlotte, Emily and Anne. During the day, they also spend time with Thomas, William and Dagny. As long as the humans stay away, this scared girl is happy.

There’s one odd exception to her fear. I have no idea why this happens, but it’s amazing when it does. Every now and then, she apparently feels a need to be touched and rubbed. It’s no more than a few times a year — and it’s only when she decides she’s ready.

She will come close to me, but then run who I reach out my hand. Then she’ll do it again, this time lying on her side and exposing her tummy. When I reach for her, she panics and runs. This can continue over a period of a day or two. Then, finally, she gives in.

She’ll let me touch her and scratch her side and tummy. She’ stretch and roll her body on the bed and purr. Every now and then when this happens, she’ll even let me pick her up and hold her while I scratch her tummy. When it’s going on, she purrs loudly and makes little sounds of pleasure.

Then — as suddenly as it started — it’s over. She’s finished with trusting me for awhile. She withdraws, pulls away. It’s frustrating, because I like to be able to make her happy and purr. But I don’t let it bother me too much, because I know she’ll be back in her own time. Even though she’s scared — and even though she wouldn’t want to admit it, if cats could “admit” things — she needs me. It’s not just for food.

She needs love and attention. She just needs it on a schedule that most people wouldn’t put up with. I’m happy that she trusts me at least that much.

Editor’s note: If you enjoyed meeting Bessie, you might enjoy previous stories and pictures aboutMolly,  Oliver,  Munchkin,  Sam,  Maggie,  Henry,  Lucy,  Amelia,  Charlotte  and  Emily.

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Feds to trucking co.: You can’t fire the drunk, but you’re liable for him
  • More than ever, big crisis makes me long for family to take care of
  • We now assume it’s normal, but time wasted commuting is nuts

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

My Instagram

Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

Oliver is obsessive about demanding attention toni Oliver is obsessive about demanding attention tonight. Even though I keep putting him down so I can get some work done, he keeps coming back. I find it impossible to refuse his demands for attention, though, because I can’t help but remember that the day will one day come when I will eagerly wish he could be demanding attention again. One of the things I love most about cats is that they are unashamed to demand whatever they want.
Alex and Oliver are napping on the top level of th Alex and Oliver are napping on the top level of the castle Thursday afternoon. Sam is in a front window watching the garbage truck make its way down the street.
Here’s the next ridiculous parody ad that I’ll be Here’s the next ridiculous parody ad that I’ll be using on an upcoming video on my YouTube channel. 😺
I just noticed that the CritterCam happened to cat I just noticed that the CritterCam happened to catch me telling Alex goodbye as I was leaving the house earlier today. He was obviously more interested in sleeping than in saying goodbye.
Sam is on Neighborhood Watch duties Wednesday afte Sam is on Neighborhood Watch duties Wednesday afternoon, so the entire neighborhood  is safe from criminals and ne’er-do-wells. At least for today.
Some neighbors across the street have put their ho Some neighbors across the street have put their house up for sale and Sam has been keeping his eyes on anybody who comes to the house to look at it. There was someone there just a little while ago and Sam was making sure he wasn’t a danger to us. The two men left without causing any harm to the neighborhood, so Sam obviously did his job.
Alex woke up early Tuesday afternoon just long eno Alex woke up early Tuesday afternoon just long enough to see if I had come to play with him or not. When he realized I was leaving the house instead of coming to play, he curled up and went back to sleep.
Sam relaxes in my arms at an office window just af Sam relaxes in my arms at an office window just after midnight Monday. He would still rather be left alone, but he tolerates me pretty well most of the time. 😺
Alex is hanging out with me just a bit after 3 a.m Alex is hanging out with me just a bit after 3 a.m., but I think he’s about ready for us all to go to bed.
Follow on Instagram

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Search

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Archives

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats and Lucy will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN