by Staff Monkeys
A new Swiss study claims that you’re disproportionately likely to die on your own birthday. The study says that your birthday gets more disproportionately dangerous the older you get. In addition to deaths from natural causes, suicides and deaths from accidental falling are more likely on your own birthday. So if it’s your birthday, stay home and be careful.
- After a county councilman was pulled over by police on suspicion of drunk driving, the politician called the local sheriff on the phone. Shortly thereafter, the deputy received a call from the sheriff ordering him to let the politician go without charges. Of course, the councilman claims that if there had been any violation of the law, he’s confident the deputy would have arrested him. So there wasn’t any favoritism. Of course not.
- Indiana has become the first state to make it legal for private citizens to shoot at police who are guilty of an “unlawful intrusion.” Police say it makes them worry that they could be shot by some trigger-happy person at any random traffic stop. Good. Now they know how many private citizens have been feeling for awhile.
- There are 4.6 million fewer jobs in the private sector of the U.S. economy than there were four years ago at this time, but federal employment is up more than 11 percent. So here’s an idea. Why don’t we just get the government to hire everybody who wants a job? That would work, right?
- After the New York Times had a scare story about the apparent epidemic of students using drugs to do better in school, a health writer for Time magazine has a far more sober and sane look at the issue, concluding that we’re nowhere near the peak of a problem that’s been around for close to a hundred years. In other words, quit panicking.
- If you love ice cream and you also love bacon, you’ve probably wondered why you couldn’t get bacon-flavored ice cream. No, wait. You probably haven’t wondered that. But Burger King sort of has an answer. For a limited time, the burger chain is offering bacon sundaes. We’re not sure why anybody would want one, but if it’s your kind of thing, you’re in luck this summer.